This Essay is 18+
Content Warnings: Discussions of nsfw, vore, pred/prey dynamics, kink cnc
Hi, I'm Vurren, and I'm the host of our system and the intrasystem partner of the love of my life, Twoey (or as you may know her, Audrey II). I'll be speaking for both of us, as she prefers to not front or talk to people but is comfortable sharing details of our lives.
If you don't know, Audrey is a fictive of the character of the same name from Little Shop of Horrors, a plant from outer space who feeds on blood and is intent on eating the world whole. I had been interested in the movie/musical since 2016, and it quickly became a special interest due to my attraction to her. I wrote fanfiction and drew art, constantly thinking about her, and I suppose it wasn't a surprise when she appeared soon after we awakened to being a system.
A thing about this fanwork, though: most of it was nsfw in nature: vore, specifically.
I am not exactly shy about my kinks online, and am not ashamed of talking about them. I don't bring them into spaces they're not welcome in, but they're a big part of my life, and specifically me and Audrey's relationship. We don't solely connect over this, of course, but it's a big reason why we're together in the first place and a good way to connect to each other. Her first moments in the system were her teasing me by opening her mouth and letting me feel her breath.
Where am I going with this, you might wonder? Why is this important to bring up?
Well, a lot of Twoey's identity is still rooted in her source: being a man-eating plant. She feels pain for the people she could have hurt, but she can't entirely say she regrets her actions. She likes being large, in charge, and a threat: in fiction, that is. She is very self conscious about other people seeing her as dangerous, especially to me, because of the things she enjoys in fiction being so close to what she's actually done in canon. She likes what happened fictionally, but not in a real "having actually hurt someone" sense.
Engaging in vore fantasies with me allows her to feel some of her power from "the glory days" while having an enthusiastic partner who knows she would never hurt someone in real life. Some of our best moments together were us unknowingly collaborating on a fanfiction of us together, her teasing me and watching me get worked up. It was like erp, in a way (and I can't suggest fanfiction enough to intrasystem partners struggling with feeling connected). I felt safer than I ever have writing apocalyptic canon-compliant fanfiction where I was a part of New York getting destroyed at the end of the movie with her looming in the distance.
There's something to be said about how even dark kink can make us feel comforted: I can feel the love we have for each other visible through the context of peril and fear. It's vulnerable, domineering, love through the lens of hunger and cruelty.
Usually our scenes don't get this extreme, but regardless sharing a bond through this outlet is something special. I feel happy to be human when I'm with her: our alien-human predator-prey large-small dichotomy gives me a weird sense of alterhuman species euphoria which we're still trying to name. I'm happy I can make her feel loved and like she's allowed to still enjoy these things despite canon. She's the love of my life and means the world to me, truly.